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Brutal Ibrox fans strip Beale of his only title!

The origins are unclear but for many Micky Beale first came to prominence as the Brains Behind Steven Gerrard.

Back in the summer of 2018 Dave King needed a name to sell to supporters and turned to his beloved Liverpool for help.

Coaching the Liverpool u-18s between media engagements Gerrard was expected to step up into management. Central to the fabled Golden Generation he’d get a good start in management rather than trying it at the ground floor to see if he was cut out for it.

King convinced Gerrard to take over at Ibrox, Gary McAllister brought some Blue Nose credibility with an unknown, straight from the Liverpool u-8 coaching school making up the front line coaching team.

Gerrard’s lack of coaching qualifications had to be worked around, in Beale they had qualifications in everything from Futsal to Subbuteo and an in depth knowledge of everyone that had gone through the Chelsea and Liverpool academies in the last 15 years.

Slowly but surely a turgid style of play was imposed on an average group of players, sure they lost cup ties to Aberdeen twice, Celtic and soon to be relegated Hearts but there was a pattern if not a style that could be detected.

With Lockdown Gerrard’s luck was in, by that stage Beale was for many fans the real boss with the former Liverpool skipper put in front of the cameras to keep fans and sponsors amused.

In the training ground, laying out the bibs and cones Beale was the man, cultivating the Deluded & Gullible on social media as he was sucked in by his own hype.

Beale upped sticks for Aston Villa with his bosses but continued to share the love on Twitter and Instagram, he saw an opportunity opening up.

A dozen games into managing QPR he could hardly hold back. At every opportunity he was speaking to the Scottish media about his love for all things Ibrox related, how happy his wife and kids were, how much he enjoyed life at Ibrox, how fantastic the fans were. Blah, blah.

Once he started supping pints with the bears in the Lounden pre-match then in Grapes Bar after a triumphant visit to the Directors Box there was no way back.

When van Bronckhorst got sacked Beale’s campaign was off and running, his loyalty to QPR was brushed aside as he slipped into the Blue Room amazed at the media reception for a failed Charlton yoof.

Not only would the manager be suited and booted but the players would roll into Ibrox in club suits, the fans drooled over it, Barry Ferguson couldn’t contain his excitement.

On the park Todd Cantwell and Nico Raskin promised bears a brilliant future, except for three skuddings from Celtic but Beale was the Pied Piper, looking into the eyes of prospective signings to ensure they were of the right DNA, he was so good he could work without a Sporting Director.

The reality arrived at Kilmarnock, last night’s display was marginally less dismal.

Beale’s side has no identity, style, width or pace. Much like Gerrard’s lot before Lockdown with the exception of Ryan Kent’s step-overs.

Telling fans that all is well while pleading for time and patience isn’t going to impress bears that have suffered through five Celtic trebles since the tribute act reached the top flight.

If there are any more slip ups this month the Brains Behind Gerrard will be rapidly demoted to the failed QPR boss, after the manner that he jumped ship last year there won’t be any offers coming in from England leaving Beale contemplating a future on Sportsound recalling epic Ibrox tales to Kenny Macintyre, Tom English, Jane Lewis, Neil McCann, Alasdair Lamont, Steven Thommo Thompson, James Personality McFadden and Kenny Miller.



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1 Comment

  • by Seppington
    Posted August 10, 2023 8:52 pm 0Likes

    “…leaving Beale contemplating a future on Sportsound…”

    Please don’t say that. I can’t stand the sound of Beale and couldn’t give any amahnt uf fahcks abaaht wot ‘e finks abaaht anyfink mar san.

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