Try our Celtic PLC Board psychopath test and see if you can join Dermot, Michael and the lads in the Boardroom!
November 2020
The Celtic Head Coach whom you appointed in the showers in a post cup final sugar rush is failing and has almost no chance of delivering 10-I-A-R. The supporters are protesting and want change ASAP.
Do you
- A Replace the Coach to try to rescue the league campaign?
- B Say nothing and allow him to continue
- C Launch a virulent attack on your supporters and tell them that they’re lucky to have him and they don’t know what they’re talking about
May 2023
Unexpectedly the Australian coach you hired as second choice in 2021 has been a huge success and wants to meet to discuss renewing his contract
Do you
- A Eagerly agree and try to work out a five year investment plan to keep him at the club?
- B Ignore him and hope he will stay anyway?
- C Encourage him to accept the first offer that comes his way?
December 2024
It’s been a year of great results, only two defeats in the calendar year, all three domestic trophies won and qualification for the Champions League knock out phase seems likely
Do you
- A Congratulate the Head Coach and ask him what he needs in the January transfer window?
- B Do nothing and hope things just work out?
- C Tell the Head Coach that he now reports to a bizarre Walter Mitty figure who styles himself “the football doctor” and was recently sacked by a third tier English club?
January 2025
You have just qualified for the knock out phase of the Champions League thanks to a late own goal. Your star striker had three ‘goals’ denied by the most marginal VAR decisions
Do you
- A Tell the Head Coach that the January transfer budget has just been increased as a result of the additional funds generated by CL qualification ?
- B Do nothing on the playing front and earmark the additional funds as extra bonuses for Board members ?
- C Sell your star striker and tell the Head Coach to eff off when he asks for money for a replacement?
December 2025
The Head Coach has resigned in frustration as a consequence of the lack of board room support. Fortunately the interim coach has done a brilliant job winning all domestic matches and even managing a superb away win in Europe
Do you
- A Make every effort to retain the interim coaching team till the of the season?
- B Do nothing and hope that things just work out?
- C Appoint a rookie coach with less than five years experience and nothing to suggest that he can possibly succeed in the job
Mostly A’s?
You have demonstrated logic, common sense and a genuine concern for the club.
WTF were you playing at?
Your chances of a seat on the Board are somewhere between zero and nil.
Mostly B’s?
You show promise but too often are weak willed when it comes to demonstrating utter contempt for supporters and small shareholders.
Needs improvement
Mostly C’s
Congratulations. There is a 99.9% chance that you are already a member of the PLC Board.
Your gallant efforts have taken Celtic from Europe’s top 24 to joint third place in Scotland. And you wrecked the 25/26 season in less time than it took for Jim Farry to register Jorge Cadete.
Your role will not be forgotten.
1 Comment
by Bhotly4life
Always thought when things are put in chronological order like this, it has a higher impact.
The club has had a few highs in the past, but thats despite the suits, not because of them.
Virtually the only positives have been a few decent players coming in, and then the money coming in from sales of those very same players as they invariably walk out the door after 18 months.
There are no other positives I can think of regarding the suits.