Keith Jackson is sick of repeating the O** F*** sob stories of the serial losers.
Once upon a time he was a fresh faced young hack, lapping up the moonbeams of Dave Murray with everything Happy and Glorious in his world with the Celtic winning one Derby match a season to retain interest. Every day the Daily Record was shifting 700,000 copies through a 24 hour operation.
Folk queued outside garages for the early editions holidaymakers from Benidorm to Orlando through their pesatas and cents at getting a two days old copy of news from Anderson Quay.
Those golden days now seem like a lifetime ago.
Celtic have the city to themselves, the Record is bought by a fast declining Steak Pie Army with Jackson trying to apply spin on the annual Autumn Revolution! as the Record tries to talk up the prospects of the new Ibrox manager and the prospects of stoapin Selik and all those records they keep racking up.
Jackson has discovered that his dream job has turned into a living nightmare but without the take home salary that Phil Clement and James Tavernier enjoy in their luxury lifestyles.
Hell has no fury like an angry bear forced into a Monday morning column after another afternoon of misery at the fixture that once made his heart beat that bit faster.
Writing in the Record Jackson opened with:
James Tavernier will be ‘disappointed’. Isn’t he always?
Philippe Clement will point to a job half done in terms of a long term rebuild which will have to be carried out in instalments. And maybe both of them will cling to the delusion that there was only three goals of a difference between their own team and that of the champions from across town yesterday in Glasgow’s east end. But they’d be kidding themselves from the truth of the matter.
Kidding themselves and their Army of Readers is exactly what the Record has been doing since June 2012 when a front page included the letters RIP.
Jackson continued:
There may be only five points separating the two of them at the top of the table after four league games. And yes, the season is only one month old but only the most optimistic Rangers supporter will not concede already that yet another title is already disappearing out of sight. And optimism is thin on the ground these days.
It was bad enough that they found themselves locked out of their own ground before the campaign had even begun. But now, not only are Rangers homeless off the pitch, but they are completely and utterly spineless on it.
And it has left them stumbling hopelessly from one calamity to the next while occasionally getting some respite to go back to base at Auchenhowie and repeat the process of licking their own self inflicted wounds.
They certainly seemed to be in a rush to get off centre stage yesterday as they capitulated to another Old Firm mauling and this latest rout means Clement has registered zero wins from this fixture after five attempts.
There will be plenty of wound licking at the Record this week as the remaining reporters search around for the much loved Battle Fever to dress up their O** F*** lifeline.
Presenting a fourth successive autumn saviour is going to stretch credibility to breaking point, especially for a publisher that introduced their readers to a billionaire from Motherwell in November 2011.
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1 Comment
by BriBhoy
Has Jacko been out shopping with his favourite “TikTodd” influencer? Todd himself looks ridiculous in a lot of the gear he posts in but Jesus! Mutton dressed as Spam Jacko, mate!